Celebrating Valentine’s Day with Kids Who Have Developmental Disabilities

Celebrating Valentine’s Day with Kids Who Have Developmental Disabilities

Celebrating Valentine’s Day with Kids Who Have Developmental Disabilities:
Tips for Parents and Caregivers

Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love, kindness, and connection, making it a great opportunity to teach children how to express their love and form positive relationships.

For children with autism, ADHD, sensory integration disorders, and other developmental disabilities, new social traditions can sometimes feel overwhelming. However, with the right approach, Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful opportunity to practice social skills, emotional expression, and creativity in a way that feels safe and enjoyable.

At Adapt for Life, we believe that all children should be able to celebrate in a way that fits their unique needs. In this guide, we’ll explore ways to introduce Valentine’s Day to children meaningfully while ensuring they feel supported and comfortable.

1. Introducing Valentine's Day in a Simple, Clear Way

Children with developmental disabilities often thrive on routine and predictability. Since Valentine’s Day may introduce new social expectations, it can help to explain it in a simple and structured way.

Consider using: 

  • Social stories: Create a short, illustrated narrative that helps children understand what to expect in new or unfamiliar situations. You can create a simple book or slideshow that explains Valentine’s Day, how people celebrate it, and what your child might experience. Include pictures or drawings illustrating everyday activities, such as exchanging cards, receiving small gifts, or seeing heart-shaped decorations in stores or at school. Reading the story together several times before the holiday can help your child feel more prepared and comfortable. 
  • Visual schedules: A visual aid, such as a picture chart or digital app, can help outline the day’s sequence of events. If your child attends school, you can include steps such as getting to class, participating in a Valentine’s Day activity, and returning home. If you’re celebrating at home, you can include simple activities such as making Valentine’s Day crafts, baking heart-shaped cookies, or watching a family movie. Knowing what to expect can reduce anxiety and provide a sense of structure.
  • Role-playing: Practicing social interactions in a relaxed, pressure-free environment can boost your child’s confidence. Set up a pretend Valentine’s card exchange by taking turns giving and receiving cards with family members or stuffed animals. You can also mimic different ways of saying “thank you” or “you’re welcome” and help your child recognize facial expressions and body language cues. If your child is hesitant to give cards at school, role-playing at home can make the process more familiar and manageable.

The key is to set clear expectations, so children understand that this is a day about kindness and appreciation rather than an overwhelming social event.

2. Adapt Valentine's Day Activities to Meet Sensory Needs

For little ones with sensory processing issues, traditional Valentine’s Day activities (loud parties, bright decorations, or strong-smelling candy) can be overwhelming. Instead, consider adapting with:

  • Soft, textured crafts: Allow children to make tactile Valentine’s cards using materials like felt, foam, or soft stickers.
  • Quiet celebrations: Create a calm, comfortable celebration space with dim lighting and minimal decorations.
  • Alternative treats: Instead of sugary treats, consider non-food options like stickers, bubbles, or fidget toys.

You’ll find that with small adjustments, you can ensure the holiday remains enjoyable without sensory overload.

3. Teach Social Skills During Valentine's Day

As a time for sharing, Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity to practice social skills in a structured way. Some ideas include: 

  • Practicing kind words: Teach children simple phrases like “Thank you,” “I appreciate you,” or “You’re a good friend.”
  • Making a gratitude list: Help your child write down things they love about friends, family, or teachers.
  • Structured card exchanges: If you’re participating in a classroom exchange, consider providing pre-written cards so children don’t feel pressured to think of messages in the moment.

Helping children address these social aspects can increase their confidence and comfort in social interactions.

4. Create a Comfortable Valentine's Day Environment at Home

Some children may feel anxious about Valentine’s Day if they’re unsure how to participate or don’t fully understand the social expectations surrounding it. By creating a familiar and safe environment at home, you can help your child engage with the holiday in a natural and enjoyable way. Consider these ideas:

  • A Valentine’s Day countdown – Use a visual calendar with colorful stickers or symbols to help children prepare for the day. Counting down can create a sense of excitement while also easing anxiety by offering predictability.
  • A “kindness tree” activity: Cut out paper hearts or leaves and encourage children to write or draw kind words about family members, friends, or pets. Gluing these onto a paper tree or board transforms the activity into a fun, low-pressure way to celebrate love and appreciation. If writing is difficult, children can dictate their thoughts to a parent or caregiver.
  • Sensory-friendly decorations – Some traditional Valentine’s decorations, like bright flashing lights or crinkly foil hearts, might be overstimulating for children with sensory sensitivities. Opt for soft fabrics, pastel colors, or calming textured elements.
  • A cozy movie night: Pick a family-friendly movie that highlights themes of friendship and love. Choose one that aligns with your child’s sensory preferences, such as low-volume sounds, soft lighting, or weighted blankets to enhance comfort.
  • A “love and kindness” jar—Throughout the week, encourage family members to write down small moments of kindness they notice in each other. Reading these aloud on Valentine’s Day fosters positive reinforcement and highlights the importance of caring for one another. 

By providing a predictable and comforting atmosphere, your child will feel more at ease with the holiday and can engage in a way that suits their unique preferences. Remember, there’s no “right” way to celebrate—what matters most is making the experience enjoyable, inclusive, and stress-free for your child.

5. Celebrate Within your Child's Comfort Range

If taking them to a big celebration isn’t the most comfortable option for them, make them feel loved and valued in whatever way suits them best.

Here are some alternative celebration ideas, such as:

  • Individual activities: Read a book about kindness together or do a quiet craft activity.
  • Personalized Valentine’s Day messages: Writing a simple note about what you love about your child can mean more than a big event.
  • Special interest Valentine’s Day gifts: If your child loves dinosaurs, space, or trains, consider Valentine’s Day gifts that match their interests instead of the traditional hearts and flowers. And help them create a gift to give to someone they want, without it having to be themed unless they want it to be.

Final Thoughts

At Adapt for Life, we believe that all children deserve to experience the holidays in a way that makes them feel safe, supported, and included. While Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity to teach social-emotional skills, reinforce positive interactions, and create warm and meaningful moments, these activities also need to be tailored to fit each child’s unique needs so that caregivers and parents can ensure that Valentine’s Day is not just another holiday, but a day filled with learning, connection, and joy.

With a bit of planning and understanding, this day can become an opportunity for children to express themselves and make valuable social connections, on their own terms, of course.

So remember, we’re here to support you every step of the way. If you’re looking for additional resources to help your child navigate social experiences, Adapt for Life offers customized ABA therapy to help children develop the skills they need to thrive.

Contact us today to learn more about how we can support your family!

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